Murphy's general laws

• Nothing is as easy as it looks.
• Everything takes longer than you think.
• Anything that can go wrong will go wrong.
• If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong. Corollary: If there is a worse time for something to go wrong, it will happen then.
• If anything simply cannot go wrong, it will anyway.
• If you perceive that there are four possible ways in which a procedure can go wrong, and circumvent these, then a fifth way, unprepared for, will promptly develop.
• Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.
• If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
• Nature always sides with the hidden flaw.
• Mother nature is a bitch.
• It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.
• Whenever you set out to do something, something else must be done first.
• The Light at the end of the tunnel is only the light of an oncoming train.

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Murphy's Military Laws

• If the enemy is in range, so are you.
• Incoming fire has the right of way.
• Don't look conspicuous, it draws fire.
• There is always a way.
• The easy way is always mined.
• Try to look unimportant, they may be low on ammo.
• Professionals are predictable, it's the amateurs that are dangerous.
• The enemy invariably attacks on two occasions:
• When you're ready for them.
• When you're not ready for them.
• Teamwork is essential, it gives them someone else to shoot at.
• If you can't remember, the claymore is pointed at you.
• The enemy diversion you have been ignoring will be the main attack.
• A "sucking chest wound" is natures way of telling you to slow down.
• If your attack is going well, you have walked into an ambush.
• Never draw fire, it irritates everyone around you.
• Anything you do can get you shot, including nothing.
• Make it tough enough for the enemy to get in and you won't be able to get out.
• Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than yourself.
• If you are short of everything but the enemy, you are in a combat zone.
• When you have secured an area, don't forget to tell the enemy.
• Never forget that your weapon is made by the lowest bidder.
• Friendly Fire Isn't.

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Murphy's Laws of Enginering

• If it's worth doing, it's got to be done right now.
• If it's not worth doing right now, it's not worth doing.
• If you can't understand it, it is intuitively obvious.
• If an experiment works, something has gone wrong.
• If a straight line fit is required, obtain only two data points.
• The more innocuous the modification appears to be, the further its influence will extend.
• If several things that could have gone wrong have not gone wrong, it would have been ultimately beneficial for them to have gone wrong.
• The manufacturer's stated performance figures are the maximum possible, under ideal conditions, when all other variables are controlled, and when the equipment is brand-new.
• The complexity of a tool is inversely proportional to the skill of the user.
• If you must choose between two computer programs, the one that will be the most useful to you will be the one that doesn't work.
• Corollary: The one that works will be obsolete.
• The first place to look for information is in the section of the manual where you least expect to find it.

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Murphy's Laws of University

• If you are given an open-book exam, you will forget your book.
• Corollary: If you are given a take-home exam, you will forget where you live.
• At any event, the people whose seats are farthest from the aisle arrive last.
• The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
• The other line at the caf moves faster.
• At the end of the semester, you will remember everything you did at the beginning; but you will have forgotten everything you learned.